no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
