just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
