I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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