The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
