dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
