i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
