Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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