maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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