I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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