the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
