Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
