I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
