just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize