Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize