More tranny stories later!
She is in my trunk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
