Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
