Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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