Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
