Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
