Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
