It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize