i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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