can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck