The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.