Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person