2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies