If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.