Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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