I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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