i think my tv is drunk
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
