Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
