they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize