Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
