We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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