He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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