so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
