Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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