If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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