I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
