so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
