she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
