How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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