wakey wakey hands off snakey
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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