so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me