I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.