im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
