I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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