I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
