ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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