I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
