I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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