So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
