I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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