i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
