This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Couch. On fire.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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