I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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