if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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