I look better un-naked...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
