My room smells like vodka and shame
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
