Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
