She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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