do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just had sex bonerless
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The power of my boobs compel you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
