wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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