please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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