It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
third nipple confirmed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
